Discover great authors from HEY World

This new iPhone app will change your life!

Don’t worry, this isn’t spam! Nor is it an ad. And you don’t need to be concerned that all my blog posts are now going to get horrible clickbait titles. But… it got you reading this, right? 😉 And I do genuinely want to highlight a new app I’ve been using this last week or so that has already replaced Safari on my iPhone as the browser ...

Dead people goals

Ever wondered if being positive all the time is actually bad for us? I know I have. And Susan Cain’s new book ‘Bittersweet’ is reaffirming that viewpoint. The book is about turning ‘sorrow into creativity, beauty and love,’ and there are two phrases that have stuck with me from the pages I’ve read so far. 1. ‘The tyranny of positivity’...

The bliss of not knowing

We have more access to stats, analytics, and data than ever. This is doing us more harm than good. We know how many people view or interact or engage with everything we post online. We then use that data to inform what we do next. At a business level, that may make sense (though, even there, I’m not so sure). But at the personal level,...

Saving our social sharing for the people we know

I read a post on Threads recently that instantly rang true. Hank Green said, ‘If I could give any advice to young people on social media it would be “share with your friends, not with the world.”’ He then added: ‘If you want to be someone who consistently makes content for the world, that is not a social experience, it’s a job.’ I agre...

Disassociating from Substack

I’ve deleted my Substack account – here’s why Long-term readers of my blog will perhaps be aware I have used Substack in the past to share my writing. I moved away from it earlier this year as it became too spammy for my liking. Any time someone wanted to subscribe to my writing, they suffered a barrage of other marketing that felt lik...

My top three non-fiction books from 2023

Yesterday, I shared my three top fiction books from 2023. Today I turn to the non-fiction books that struck a chord and have stayed with me this year. 3. WRITING FOR BUSY READERS by Todd Rogers and Jessica Lasky-Fink I try and read a book about writing every year. Or re-read a book. One of my all-time favourite books is ON WRITING WELL...

My top three fiction books from 2023

This is the first of two posts about the books I’ve read in 2023. Today, I am sharing my three favourite fictional books. Tomorrow, I will share my top three non-fiction books. Do let me know if you’ve enjoyed any of these yourself. And I’d love to hear what some of your favourite books have been this year. Let me know! 3. THE PARIS AP...

Serendipity (and how I came to be writing a screenplay)

I have a favourite app I like to use when I’m writing. It’s called iA Writer. I’m using it to write this now. Last week the makers announced the release of a new template. It is called Fountain and it is specifically for people writing screenplays in iA Writer. Curiosity led me to download the template, try it out, and see how it worke...

What success will never teach us

I wonder how good any of us are at accurately judging just how much we don’t know. I mean, who of us likes to admit the limits to our knowledge or understanding? And yet, what if the better we are at being aware about what we don’t know, the better shot we’ll have at making a lasting success of our lives and organisations? No matter wh...

Embracing boredom

I came across a wonderful and provocative Bertrand Russell quote about the importance of boredom recently. Sarah Wilson highlighted it in her book ‘This One Wild and Precious Life’. “A generation that cannot endure boredom will be a generation…in whom every vital impulse slowly withers, as though they were cut flowers in a vase.” I’m s...

Readable writing

I’m reading ‘Writing for Busy People’ by Jessica Lasky-Fink and Todd Rogers at the moment. I recommend it if your life involves any amount of writing—whether texts, emails, documents, or even books. The paragraph below resonated in particular. “When you are balancing the trade-offs between readability and using longer, less common but ...

Unable to meet the emotional needs of my poorly wife

Living with someone who is long-term sick is hard. It’s not as hard as it is for the one struggling with illness, but it’s hard none-the-less. Over the last twelve years, my wife, Rachel, has struggled with various health conditions that have left her home-bound, unable to work for significant stints of time. Ranging from Graves’ disea...

Heard, Seen, Read #9

Welcome to the weekend 😊 Here’s issue #9 of the things I’ve been listening to, watching, and reading lately. As always, do drop me a note with any of your recommendations. 📚 Big Swiss by Jen Beagin I don’t think I’ve ever read a novel quite like this! It an odd, unlikely premise, but somehow it works and, like all good novels, sheds li...

Never challenge someone from a place of ignorance

Hello 👋 It’s been a while. I went on holiday at the end of July and ended taking an extended summer break from my blog. It’s good to be back! How’s your summer been? (For those of you who are in parts of the world where it’s winter, feel free to share too!) You may also notice I’m back posting from HEY World rather than Substack. I rea...

Love is a practice

Where does your mind go when your hear the word ‘love’? Is it to romance? To feelings? Or perhaps to passion? Maybe words like commitment, trust, attraction, or intimacy come to mind. There’s no right or wrong answer. Any conversation about what love is should only ever continue in the spirit of, ‘Yes, and…’. And in that spirit, I want...

Validate me

Who am I? It’s a question asked since the dawn of time. It’s a question every generation, every community, and every one of us wrestles with, both consciously and sub-consciously. Am I who my family says I am? Or my friends? Is it my community? Or maybe my boss or my colleagues? It’s hard to pretend that each of these people don’t have...

The desire line

We all ‘want it all’, right? At the very least, very few of us don’t want more. A bigger house. A better job. A fancier car. The latest smartphone. Nicer clothes. More glamorous holidays. That list may not be your more, but there’ll be something. And we convince ourselves that life will be better once we get that thing. We do this agai...

The most irrelevant commandment

If I was to ask you, ‘Which is the most irrelevant of the Ten Commandments?’, which would you pick? I suspect that the second commandment might win any poll. Here’s what it says: ‘You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water un...

Stop!

Early this year, I read a powerful article by Rebekah Toh on the courage to stop, and stop properly. Here’s what she wrote: “…it’s good to stop. Not just taking in less, but taking in none. Even one day of stopping works wonders for the soul. Three days are better. A week even better. …When we stop consuming so much new information and...

The second step is easier

One of my intentions for 2023 has been to exercise more. It took until April for me to make a start, but I got there. Warmer, lighter mornings made all the difference for me! Having made a start, I quickly got into a rhythm of doing HIIT workouts several mornings a week. Then, a week away on holiday in May, followed by various family i...

Reason is not enough

I came across this wonderful, provocative quote a week or so ago by Dostoevsky, in his book, Notes from Underground: “Reason is an excellent thing, there's no disputing that, but reason is nothing but reason and satisfies only the rational side of man's nature, while will is a manifestation of the whole life, that is, of the whole huma...

Still me

Is it possible to change? Is transformation attainable? It’s tempting to want to be definitive in our answer. We are quick to default to dualistic, black or white thinking. We take sides; we’re either in the Yes or the No camp. But, like many things in life, the essence is found in the grey; in between the Yes or the No. There are plen...

The gift of undivided attention

Being fully present to the people we’re with and the moment we’re in Most of us know by now that there’s no such thing as multi-tasking. We’re simply fast-switching between tasks, often in detrimental ways to our well-being and productivity. I sit at my desk, with two screens, multiple apps open, constantly switching from one to anothe...

Balancing MY work with OUR work

I’ve been thinking about productivity a lot lately. Both worries about my lack of it, and my dislike of the term. Let’s start with the latter. ‘Productivity’ feels like such a cold, heartless, transactional word. As if I’m a cog in a wheel, existing solely to be efficient and generate output (for somebody else). There’s a ruthlessness ...

New year, same old me

I’ve long passed on setting New Year’s resolutions. Though a fresh start and a line in the sand can give some momentum to making changes, it’s never enough. One year passing into the next, by itself, isn’t sufficient. Sure, there can be benefit in grabbing the psychological benefit of a clean slate and a kick start, but much more needs...

When there’s too much to do and not enough time

There is always more work I could be doing. I’m yet to come close to clearing my to do list. And there are some things I really should have done by now, but I haven’t. Why? Because work isn’t everything. Don’t misunderstand me, I enjoy my work. Well, mostly! But life is more than work. And long, unsustainable working hours is something...

Are you energising or draining the people around you?

What is your impact on others? Are the people you interact with better off from their being around you, or worse? Do you elevate the people you interact with, or bring them down? When you’re with others do they end up being more-than they would or could have been, or less-than? Are those around you energised or drained by your presenc...

Changing my mind more

“Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. – George Bernard Shaw” I came across this quote in the daily The World in Brief email I get from The Economist. I appreciated the reminder. Politicians have given changing your mind a bad reputation. The moment a political opponent c...

Figuring it out, or getting found out?

Adam Grant, in a recent newsletter wrote this: “Impostor syndrome: “I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s only a matter of time until everyone finds out." Growth mindset: “I don’t know what I’m doing yet. It’s only a matter of time until I figure it out.” The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn.” As someon...

Turning towards

I listened to an episode of Brené Brown’s ‘Unlocking Us’ podcast last week where her guests were Drs. John and Julie Gottman. They have studied relationships for years, and their insights were fascinating. Though they were primarily talking in the context of couples, one thing they shared made so much sense to me across multiple contex...

An obligation to be hopeful

I was watching an episode of ‘Gutsy’ on Apple TV+ last week and something Hilary Clinton said has stayed with me. She said, ‘we have an obligation to be hopeful’. The context was a conversation between women refusing to hate despite being the victims of all manner of violent and abusive personal attacks. But apt as the line about hope ...

All change

Hello! It’s been a while. After enjoying a two week holiday in Switzerland in late July / early August, I’ve been adapting to a new role at work that I officially start tomorrow. Hence I’ve been quiet. And, in truth, I find it healthy to step away from writing sometimes. I do intend to start writing more again in the coming weeks, but ...

Without innovation tradition dies

I can’t recall where I read it, but the words, ‘without innovation tradition dies,’ immediately made sense to me. It sounds contradictory. Aren’t the ideas of innovation and tradition incompatible? Not necessarily. No tradition should ever carry on uncritically. ‘We always do this because it’s always what’s been done,’ is never a good ...

Don't lose sight of the present

This post references sport but if sport isn’t your thing, don’t worry, the point is not about sport. Stay with me! Sport is simply the backdrop for this idea. Eddie Jones is the head coach of England rugby side. For the last couple of years the side has struggled with poor form and lots of defeats. He is still head coach though and his...

Telling people you appreciate them

Reflecting on my own life, too much gratitude and appreciation goes unspoken. I think it. But I don’t say it. And unexpressed gratitude and appreciation is a pretty useless thing. Why do I hold back? Pride, perhaps. Not wanting to appear vulnerable. But it’s also just habit. Or lack of it. The more I do something, the more I start to d...

Gratitude in the small moments, not just the big

It’s easy to be grateful for the big moments in life. A new job. A fantastic holiday. A loved-one’s birthday. That’s not to say gratitude is a given though. It’s still very much a choice. But gratitude truly finds its wings when it reaches beyond the exceptional and extends to the mundane. There’s a reason millions of religious people ...

Passion is… bad?

I love it when something I believe gets throughly challenged by something I read. Today’s daily meditation from the Centre for Action and Contemplation does exactly that. Cynthia Bourgeault, the author of the post, writes about the difference between our modern understanding of emotions and the teachings of the Desert Fathers and Mothe...

To hope is to jump

I’ve been watching a few episodes of season two of ‘Home’ on AppleTV+ this week. It’s a fascinating looking at incredible homes from around the world. That’s not what I want to write about though. It simply happened that one of the home owners, a Swedish lady, said during an interview that the Swedish word for hope also means to jump. ...

Resistance muscles

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘fasting’? With my religious background, my mind goes to the religious practice of abstaining from something (usually food) for spiritual purposes. For others, maybe your mind jumps to dieting and trying to lose weight. The other thing that comes to mind for me is Lent. That period in the run u...

Just do it

Oliver Burkeman, in his latest newsletter, suggests that sometimes the goal of habit formation gets in the way of just doing what would be good to do: “You want to become, say, the kind of person who meditates, or writes or makes videos or podcasts on a regular basis, or finds more time for your kids – and so you conclude, understandab...

Thoughts from away

I’m in Mallorca with extended family at the moment. That explains my lack of posts this week. And also last week, as preparing for our first international travel since March 2019 was all consuming! What follows is a somewhat random and eclectic collection of thoughts I’ve had while away. • Guaranteed sunshine is nice! Waking up each mo...

Harming others without realising it

‘When Things Fall Apart’ by Pema Chödrön has been on my radar for a while now. But it’s sat on my reading list without ever making it to the top. This week I started reading it though, and it’s full of wisdom! Challenging too. I appreciate when a book calls me out on my shit and I’m in a place to receive it, learn from it, and grow. Th...

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic goals

When I read ‘From Strength to Strength’ by Arthur Brooks earlier this year, one of the ideas I noted down was the importance of having a balance of intrinsic goals and extrinsic goals. If you were to ask me what my goals are for this year, or the next five years, my response would probably be entirely made up of extrinsic goals. They w...

Dethroning money

I finished reading ‘Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality’ by Richard Rohr, Joseph Martos this week. First released in 1990, it’s a fascinating read! Early on in the book, they wrote this on the subject of money: “It is all too easy to fall in love with money, to be captivated by the pursuit of money and to project eve...

Ducking the reality of death

I read ‘The Art of Gathering’ by Priya Parker last week. It’s a great—if somewhat too long—look at helping people gather together in better, more meaningful ways. The segment I want to quote below though is less about gathering and more an observation on how we handle death nowadays. I’ve been reflecting on this over the last week, sha...

44 insights I try to live by

Inspired by Kevin Kelly’s ‘103 bits of advice I wish I had known’, I decided to write my own list of things I’ve learned or am learning in the 44 years I’ve been alive so far. These are a collection of insights I try—with varying degrees of success—to hold onto as I go through life. This is by no means an exhaustive list; I hope I will...

Why we need to keep meeting strangers

At the start of the year, I added ‘More quality time with friends’ to my More and Less list. I then reflected on friendship some more after reading ’Friends‘ by Robin Dunbar. As someone who is now into my forties, I am acutely aware that making new friends tends to be something that happens less and less. Not only that, even maintainin...

Love people, like things

I don’t think this blog post will lead to a global revolution whereby people reevaluate how they use the word ‘love’. But I would like it to! I read something the other week—and, sadly, I can’t recall where—that pointed out the dangers of loving ‘things’. I might say, I love Leicester Tigers. Or my iPhone. Or my job. Or pizza. (Okay, m...

Chisoku: When enough is enough

The Japanese have a word for everything, don’t they?! Chisoku is the Japanese word for ‘enough’; it means to feel sufficient or to be satisfied with what we have. Reading about this word over the last week has been a good reminder for me. As Seth Godin’s pointed out in his recent blog post “...by some measures, there’s never enough. We...

Why do we choose bandits over truth?

“Pilate asked him, ‘So you are a king?’ Jesus answered, ‘You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.’ Pilate asked him, ‘What is truth?’ After he had said this, he went out to the Jews again and told them, ‘I find no c...

A life of love and faith outside of church services

Richard Rohr’s recent daily meditation is a reflection on ‘expanding circles of love’. He poses the question, ‘How do we love God?’, before saying: “Most of us seem to have concluded we love God by attending church services. For some reason, we think that makes God happy. I’m not sure why. Jesus never talked about attending services, a...

Too much knowledge

I like Instagram. Mostly. I mainly like that I can keep up-to-date with friends via their photographs. That is, for me, a predominantly positive experience. Interspersed with all the photos though is an ever growing stream of self-help type content. Tips, advice, guidance, life-lessons, hacks, how-to’s, and more. It’s not that all of i...

My religious journey

Long-time readers of my blog will know that I have a religious background, and that religion, faith, and spirituality are subjects I write about periodically here too. I have never publicly documented my religious journey in much detail though. There’s been snapshots I’ve shared, but never the whole thing. This year, I’ve been having a...

When self-improvement is self-dislike in disguise

Rebecca Toh posted a new article on her blog the other day and this paragraph jumped right out at me: “Self-improvement can be insidious and a source of stress, because for many people, self-improvement is actually self-dislike in disguise. If we’re not careful, we can spend years on the self-improvement treadmill trying to reach our g...

How would I treat my best friend?

I wrote a few weeks ago about using the question, ‘What would I tell my best friend to do?’, as a decision-making aid. Today I want to share another question to help us be more compassionate to ourselves. And it’s this: How would I treat my best friend? Let’s back up a little before exploring that further though. The problem with terms...

Solitude phobia

I’m continuing to enjoy Hermann du Plessis’s new book ‘Lead with Intent’. This morning I read a powerful section titled ‘Fear of time alone’. It’s inspired by one of the thirteen things Amy Morin writes about in her book ’13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do’: “Mentally strong people do not fear time alone.” Here are what Morin de...

Regaining our curiosity with those we know the most

My friend, Hermann du Plessis, has a new book out called ‘Lead with Intent’. I’m enjoying it! It’s been a while since I’ve read a book on leadership; I’m learning lots, and being reminded of plenty too. This morning I read a section on curiosity. Though his focus is leadership, I couldn’t help but think about it in a wider life context...

Stop trying to win arguments

We all want to be right. I’m still waiting to meet that person who just loves to be wrong! And when we disagree with someone, it’s natural to want to win then over to our way of seeing things. Here’s the thing though: People change their minds slowly. Do you remember the last time you heard a counter-argument to a view you hold strongl...

Creating space between home and work

I started working from home eight months before the Covid pandemic hit. I love it. It’d be a real struggle to go back to office-based working now. The only thing I miss is the commute. Well, not the waiting at bus stops in the rain. Nor being on crowded buses. No, it’s the time—the headspace—between leaving home and getting to work. Th...

Empathy is always a strength

I wrote last week about consuming news sanely. But it’s hard, isn’t it? There’s a war going on! It’s all well and good for me to decide to only check in with the news once or twice a day. But what about those women and children getting attacked in Ukraine by Russian soldiers? They can’t view the news a couple of times each day in order...

One degree of realignment

When we decide we want to change, it’s easy in our initial enthusiasm to go all in, do a complete about turn, and go full steam ahead in a new direction. This can work in some scenarios, but not all. If we want to get fitter after doing no exercise for a long time, going straight on a 10 mile run isn’t the way to go. Small steps and gr...

Consuming news sanely

Oliver Burkeman makes the case for cultivating new skills to ensure we engage with news in ways that don’t destroy us: “…figuring out how to consume news sanely – how to keep your head, when everyone on social media is losing theirs – is only going to become an even more critical skill for living a composed and purposeful life.” He say...

Little things

Sometimes the big things in life are beyond our control. Take 2022. We entered the year full of renewed hope and expectation. Then, barely a week in, my wife got ill with what was more than likely Covid. She’s not been back in work since. She’s getting better. Slowly. But it’s fair to say this isn’t how we hoped the year would go. And ...

What would I tell my best friend to do?

We’re all faced with decisions every day—some trivial, some vital. When it comes to the big ones though, we often end up paralysed by indecision. We don’t know what to do. Daniel Pink addresses this in his latest ‘Pinkcast’ and offers a suggestion that makes so much sense. When struggling with a decision, Pink says we should ask oursel...

Russia & Ukraine: “This is not for ordinary people”

I asked someone I know in Russia for their perspective on Russia attacking Ukraine. Here’s how the conversation unfolded (shared with permission): “ME: What is your take on the Ukraine situation? THEM: It’s very hard to explain. It is a war. And it’s very scary. All my colleagues are very quiet today. They have been all day. Usually we...

Out of control

I was thirteen when I first visited Ghana. I was tagging along with my dad while he had various speaking engagements. Most of these were in the evenings, leaving plenty of free time during the day. The time of year we were there mean that, like clockwork, there was a thirty minute tropical downpour every afternoon. This was when I chos...

Keep changing your mind

I’m a regular subscriber to The Economist. One of my favourite subscription features is an email each morning called ‘The World in Brief’. It’s a handy, short overview of the biggest news stories from around the globe, along with succinct commentary. In addition, each email closes with a quote for the day too. Here’s today’s: “Only stu...

Never stop learning

Though I haven’t studied in an official capacity for years, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped learning. In fact, I’m more committed to learning and growing now than at any point in my life. Why? I enjoy learning new things! It’s as simple as that. I’m curious and I like discovering more—particularly if it’s connected to humans and how we ...

When less is more—the path to satisfaction

My friend, Ryan, sent me a quite brilliant article in The Atlantic by Arthur C. Brooks this morning. It’s adapted from a book he has coming out next month. He explores the age-old dilemma of how we find satisfaction in life. The key, it seems, is wanting less, but we all know that isn’t easy. It is abundantly clear though, as Brooks wr...

Focus on your food!

I’ve been reading ‘The Expectation Effect’ by David Robson this week. It’s a fascinating read! There’s countless themes I’ve been tempted to write about, but one stood out and it was in a chapter about food. In short, our expectations around food and how we approach it can make a tangible difference to digestion, weight loss or gain, a...

What would keep me alive?

My German friend, Armin Ruser, wrote a blog post this week reflecting on the writing of Victor Frankl about his time in Auschwitz. This in particular stood out: “When [Frankl] once fell ill with typhoid fever during his detention in the camp, he began to [re]write parts of [his confiscated book] manuscript on notes. According to his ow...

The need for friction

David Heinemeier Hansson wrote recently about how no longer engaging in online conversation via social media (specifically Twitter) has led to much more fruitful conversations via email: “...I’ve replaced the free-for-all of the thunderdome with connections mediated by friction. The kind of friction the internet had since its inception...

Assume people are focused on their own work

Jason Fried, founder and CEO of Basecamp, wrote a great article on his blog this week entitled ‘The Presence Prison’. It was about the trend via apps like Teams and Slack to always showcase our presence at work—whether we’re available, busy, in a meeting, or away. He’s not a fan: “Truth is, there are hardly any good reasons to know if ...

The end of religious obligation

I read ‘Christianity After Religion’ by Diana Butler Bass this week. Written in 2012, it’s a fascinating look at the state of Christianity, and an exploration of what it might take if it is to have any ongoing relevance to the future. This paragraph captures perfectly the scale of the challenge facing Christianity, and indeed religion ...

No time to read

I wrote last week about the reading frenzy I’ve started 2022 with. Inevitably, when I share about my reading habits, I’m always asked how I find the time to read. Before sharing a few thoughts, I will say that there are some exceptions to what I say. When I had young kids, I hardly did any reading. Also, I know plenty of friends who wh...

The futility of worry

In his latest book, ‘Four Thousand Weeks’, Oliver Burkeman addresses the role of worry, writing: “Worry, at its core, is the repetitious experience of a mind attempting to generate a feeling of security about the future, failing, then trying again and again and again - as if the very effort of worrying might somehow help forestall disa...

Men, marriage, depression, and friendship

I’ve been reading Friends by Robin Dunbar this week. It’s an engrossing read, full of science-based insight on the role of friends in our lives. There’s a ton of things I could write about—and I may well write on this subject more in the future—but one thing that jumped out to me was a passage on the impact on men of a marriage breakin...

See what happens

It was Richard Rohr who said the following: “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” If we wait for our thinking to change, we’ll be left waiting. We have to make a lifestyle choice and trust that our thinking will catch up with our new way of living. Similarly, Mark Manson wrote...

A reading frenzy

It’s fair to say I’ve started 2022 with a reading frenzy. I’ve finished six books already! I’m well on the way through another two books too. My new Kindle Paperwhite is a factor in this. I bought it with Christmas money having long resisted. I felt that the combination of my iPhone and iPad, along with still buying plenty of physical ...

More and less

Happy New Year! I’ve given up on wishing people a year that’s better than the last. There’s never any guarantees. And, let’s be honest, it’s already off to a rocky start. I do wish you all a year that’s filled with peace and joy though. Peace that transcends whatever circumstances come your way. And joy that upholds you no matter the c...

Merry Christmas!

As we approach Christmas, I’ve decided to have a brief pause with my writing. I find regular breaks helpful for freshening things up and discovering new motivation for writing. Not only that, the way Christmas breaks up so many usual rhythms means it’s challenging to write on any kind of schedule. I’ll be back in the New Year. I want t...

The uninterrupted life

Long-time readers will be aware of my propensity to share liberally from Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter. If you’re not yet a subscriber, I recommend you becoming one. You rarely come away without something meaningful and thought-provoking. His latest post explores the trend towards looking to pursue ‘deep work’ with our working lives and...

Don’t commodify it

My friend Ryan sent me an article from The Atlantic yesterday titled, ‘How to Care Less About Work’. It’s a great read. This paragraph, talking about activities unrelated to work, in particular stood out to me: “Whatever your thing might be—and maybe there are many things—the most important component should be aiming to make it as unli...

A healthy dose of not a lot

I didn’t use as much annual leave as expected earlier this year. It’s left me with five days I need to use before the year-end. Sadly, family responsibilities meant travelling somewhere exciting wasn’t an option. So I’ve decided to work four-day weeks for the rest of the year. Today is my second Friday off. And today is the second Frid...

Adapt or die

I continue to enjoy Will Smith’s memoir, ‘Will’. This quote, though lengthy, is worth sharing in full: “There’s a Buddhist parable that has guided me through many a perilous transition: A man is standing on the banks of a treacherous, raging river. It’s rainy season – if he can’t get to the other side, he’s done. He quickly builds a ra...

Don't just be an ideas person

There’s something in our wiring as humans that causes us to get caught up with the idea of something over the reality of it. We have this incredible notion for a new business or product, but never get around to creating anything. We want to get fit, but we never take the exercise class or go to the gym. We want to become a reader, yet ...

When what we think is hard is actually easy

Much of life is about perception. We put off that task because, in our head, it feels huge. Eventually, when we can put if off no longer, we embrace the task. Thirty minutes later, it’s done. And we’re left wondering why we ever thought it was a big deal. In his latest newsletter, Oliver Burkeman tackles this issue. Reflecting on how h...

Thoughts on ‘Maid’

A friend of mine suggested I watch the Netflix show ‘Maid’ recently. I get a lot of TV show recommendations though, and many end up forgotten. Or on a list that I already have no chance of ever getting through. But I dived straight into this one. And I’m glad I did. What an incredible, moving, devastating-yet-heart-warming, depressing-...

Can you learn while you’re talking?

“I never learned anything while I was talking. —Larry King” I came across the quote above earlier in the daily email I get from The Economist. It makes a lot of sense. If you’re not listening, how are you learning? And if you’re busy talking, how can you be listening? But then I thought about the times when ideas have crystallised for ...

Blindfolding ourselves

I’m continuing to enjoy Will by Will Smith. Here’s another line that’s stayed with me: “Sometimes we'd rather blindfold ourselves than take a cold, hard look at the world exactly as it is.” Denial, it seems, is part of human nature. Put another way, we have a tendency as humans to put a narrative over painful truths to stop us facing u...

Reading about writing

Once or twice a year, I pick up a book about writing. It’s not always a new book – On Writing Well is one book I go back to again and again – but I like to take time on a regular basis to think about my written words. This last week, I’ve been reading a book that is new to me. It’s called Several short sentences about writing, written ...

Book Notes – ‘The Beekeeper of Aleppo’ by Christy Lefteri

I don’t listen to lots of audiobooks. I tend to save them for when I know I have long drive coming up. With a visit down to London and then back up to Buxton a few weeks back, I decided to listen to The Beekeeper of Aleppo. The fact Audible were offering it for free may or may not have influenced my choice... Either way, I’m glad I pic...

Improving on silence

I started reading Will, the new memoir from Will Smith last night. Only a chapter in, but enjoying it and gaining wisdom and insight already. Though this is a complete aside from the point of the opening chapter, I loved his description of his mother, in sharp contrast, he writes, to his father: “Mom-Mom is quiet and reserved; not beca...

The loveliness is everywhere

I finished Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul by John Philip Newell over the weekend. In short: it’s wonderful! An incredible book. But, I’ll save my book notes for another post. Today I want to share this delightful poem, shared in the last chapter of Newell’s book, by Kenneth White: “the loveliness is everywhere even in the ugliest and most h...

Prompts to get me to begin noticing

Kat Cuthbert wrote a blog post recently about her rediscovery of journalling. I was grateful for her insights on the value of ‘journal prompts’. These are questions that can help trigger meaningful self-reflection. Before sharing her ‘journal prompts for uncertain times’ though, I want to share a couple of paragraphs from her post: “Fr...

Always present (smartphone lessons from Will Ferrell)

I appreciated this segment from from The Hollywood Reporter’s recent profile of Will Ferrell. They capture this insight from Paul Rudd, his co-star in the upcoming Apple TV+ series The Shrink Next Door: “Rudd, who’d worked with Ferrell on the Anchorman films, says he was struck at how committed his co-star was: “Normally, when you’re d...

The superficial self-awareness movement

What is your biggest weakness? I was thinking about this classic interview question today. And we all know the kinds of responses it generates: ““Sometimes I’m too committed for my own good.”” ““I’m a perfectionist.”” ““I work too hard.”” But have you noticed how no one says: ““I’m insecure and claim other team member’s ideas as my own...

Does religion still have a place today?

What is the point of religion? Does it (still) have a role in a rational society? Is it something we should have grown out of by now? Or is their a place – a need, even – for it? And, if there is, what is that place, that point, that purpose? The word ‘religion’ is undeniably a tainted word. And no two people are thinking of the same t...

Enjoying my girls at every age and stage

“I always become suspicious when other parents tell me to enjoy every second of having a baby, to make the most of these years, since their enthusiasm never seems to extend to whatever age their children are now. Finn won’t disappoint me by being eight years old, or fourteen, or thirty-six. He won’t hurt my feelings by growing up. —Not...

Book Notes: ‘Spook Street’ by Mick Herron

I finished reading book four of Mick Heron’s Slough House spy series of novels yesterday. The fact I’ve read four of them tells it’s own story. I love them. I’ve actually listened to the last two novels. Seán Barrett’s narration is pitch perfect; he captures the characters completely. There’s something delightfully gritty about these L...

Killing the moment by controlling our experience

My friend Ryan sent me this powerful quote from the American Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön earlier: “We think that if we just meditated enough or jogged enough or ate perfect food, everything would be perfect. But from the point of view of someone who's awake, that's death. Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing in feeling confirmed and...

Don’t resist life’s seasons

Life is full of seasons. Here in England, we’re deep into the transition away from summer and into autumn. But our individual lives have seasons too. Nothing stays the same for long. When our daughters were young, my wife and I had a mantra for the various (trying) stages kids go through. ‘It’s just a season,’ or ‘it’s only a stage,’ w...

When the belief bubble bursts

“The nature of illusion is that it’s designed to make you feel good. About yourself, about your country, about where you’re going – in that sense it functions like a drug. Those who question that illusion are challenged not so much for the veracity of what they say, but for puncturing those feelings. —Chris Hedges, Journalist” This quo...

Shaking up my morning routine

I loved this observation from Oliver Burkeman in his most recent newsletter: “…efforts to implement morning routines… have a way of becoming utterly deadening the moment you try to define them too strictly: “630am get up, 645am journalling”, and so forth. Far better, in my experience, to draw up a “menu” of things you'd ideally like to...

Givers or takers?

“The more you create, the more powerful you become. The more you consume, the more powerful others become.” I’ve been pondering these words since I read them in James Clear’s newsletter last week. Another way of framing this is as a question: Am I a giver or a taker? When we fill our lives with taking – or consumption – we are disempow...

Writing is easy – until it is hard

I get asked, ‘How do you manage to write so much?’, a lot. And the truth is that, like most established habits, it’s quite easy once you’ve done the work of making it a routine in your life. The routine – and the accompanying triggers – do a lot of the heavy lifting of making the habit continue. For much of this year, that’s where I’ve...

Guard the good treasure entrusted to you

I read a letter recently, written several thousand years ago, from a master to his apprentice. The author included the line that titles this post: guard the good treasure entrusted to you. He’s talking about the gifts the apprentice has. Earlier in the same letter, he writes about, ‘rekindl[ing] the gift of God that is within you’. Gua...

When words don’t sync with reality

“Writing or words not backed up by action will end up ringing hollow. Similarly, a person who only talks but does not practise ends up living a hollow existence. There is nothing at the core – no real substance – because the actions don’t match up to the intentions. So that is the danger of writing – when the words are out of sync from...

What if worry was prayer?

I took a huge amount of pleasure listening to a conversation between Luke Norsworthy and Barbara Taylor Brown on a recent episode of Luke’s podcast. Though it wasn’t remotely the main focus of the podcast, there was a throwaway line from Barbara that I’ve been pondering since I heard it. She said that worrying about friends and family ...

A good life

“Life is not a problem to be solved. Just remember to have something that keeps you busy doing what you love while being surrounded by the people who love you. —Héctor García and Francesc Miralles, ‘Ikaigi’” I love the simplicity of this. Of course, simple doesn’t mean easy! Sometimes the simplest things to understand are the hardest t...

Improve your life with better handling of notifications

I don’t write much about technology any more. And when I do, I aim to write about it in ways that are relevant to everyone – not just geeks like me! Today’s post is, as such, technology focussed but will, I hope, help us all. Let’s get to it. As of this week, the iPhone has a new feature that I want to highlight. It’s part of iOS and i...

Fewer blog posts of late

I’ve been writing less frequently the last couple of weeks. But don’t worry: I do intended to get back to writing each week day. Lately I’ve had no extra headspace though. Work has been all-consuming whilst we’ve launched a major new programme for thousands of teachers here in England. This busy spell has left me with less time for rea...

Flexibility = resilience

I finished reading ‘Ikigai’ by Héctor García and Francesc Miralles this week and, towards the end of the book, there’s a chapter on resilience. This paragraph in particular resonated: “Resilient people know how to stay focused on their objectives, on what matters, without giving in to discouragement. Their flexibility is the source of ...

The thief of happiness

“To compare yourself and your results against anyone is probably like the thief of happiness. —Emma Raducanu” I came across the above quote in an article on the BBC website a couple of days prior to Emma Raducanu’s remarkable win in US Open tennis final in New York. Reading that, it becomes even harder to believe she’s just 18 years ol...

The wherewithal to cope

I was grateful for this reminder from Oliver Burkeman in his latest newsletter: “...imagine you were a member of a prehistoric tribe, setting out on a multi-day hunting expedition into the unknown. You couldn't possibly have felt confident, if “confident” means feeling sure of how things will unfold. But there’s a kind of confidence yo...

Let us be awake to life

One of my morning meditations recently included the mantra that makes for the title of this post: “Let us be awake to life.” I find it all too easy to drift through life. Days blur into weeks, which blur into months, which blur into years. And before long, I’m repeating the tired refrain: Doesn’t time fly? I lose sight of the truth tha...

Lessons from several women who have embraced Orthodox Judaism

There was an intriguing article in The Telegraph over the weekend about several women who have embraced Orthodox Judaism. I found it interesting on various levels. But there was a sentence that captured my attention where one of the women was describing her first Sabbath: “That Friday evening, as well as eating chicken soup, they sang ...

Anger AND love

This from John Philip Newell in his book ‘Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul’ touched a nerve for me over the weekend: “Today we hear many voices denouncing the abuse of the environment. These are important voices, and it is imperative that we listen to them and their dire predictions of the catastrophes we are bringing on ourselves and future ...

Clarity over certainty

I found this quote from Shawn Blanc’s latest newsletter helpful: “Certainty is a destination. Clarity is a direction. Don’t waste too much time in the hunt for certainty, when, often all you need is just a little bit of clarity. With a little bit of clarity, you can start moving in the right direction. And once you’re moving, that acti...

Sunday neurosis

I’m reading a book called Ikigai at the moment. It’s a delightful and insightful read, exploring the lessons we can learn from this Japanese ‘secret’ about living life with purpose. One paragraph about ‘Sunday neurosis’ jumped out at me when I was reading last night: “Sunday neurosis, for example, is what happens when, without the obli...

You teach best what you most need to learn

““You teach best what you most need to learn,” as the author Richard Bach famously put it. You’re drawn to the subjects you struggle with because you struggle with them – because the stakes feel high to you, so you’re motivated to try to puzzle out some solutions.” I appreciated the paragraph above, pulled from the latest newsletter fr...

Note taking or making notes?

“Note taking is what happens when we’re quickly capturing content to refer back to it later while we’re listening. Note making on the other hand is when we generate ideas, like when reading. This is when we form our own ideas and insights based on the information we encounter. It’s the process of connecting the dots, or plotting new on...

‘We have become flesh and blood billboards’

Om Malik’s latest blog post on how humans today engage with one another is worth sharing in full: “Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, or LinkedIn: that is now part of our daily vernacular. Did you see my TikTok or read my Tweet? We don’t interact. We transact. Read the papers, and you will quickly learn that everyone is an influencer or ...

Bearing with one another

I’m sharing more wisdom today from Saul of Tarsus, the first century writer. Though this particular line may or may not have come from his quill*, the insight is clear (and challenging). In Ephesians 4:2, the author encourages the faith community in Ephesus to be people committed to ‘bearing with one another in love’. I appreciate the ...

What to wear

“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. —Colossians 3” ‘Clothe yourselves’ is one of my favourite metaphors used by the first century writer Saul of Tarsus. He uses this, and variations of it, in various of his writings when encouraging his readers to live a life of moral virtue. I find this help...

Bravery has many faces

Glennon Doyle shared some astute thoughts in a post on Instagram last week. Here’s what she said: “There is a family next to me at the store. I just heard the dad say to his kid: “Well, it’s brave to go on a roller coaster. And it’s also brave to say you don’t want to go on a roller coaster.” Wanted to tell you something. That is good....

Owning our limitations

Shawn Blanc wrote about the ‘law of tradeoffs’ in his newsletter this week, saying: “In order to give your perpetual devotion to any one thing it will require the perpetual neglect of many other things. Focus requires tradeoffs.” He then added: “You can only focus on so many areas of life at a time. And you can only do focused, deep wo...

Fooling ourselves

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool. —Richard Feynman” I started reading The Scout Mindset by Julia Galef last night. It’s a book focussed on helping people get better at seeing clearly and rationally. Much as we might like to think otherwise, this is no easy task. She starts...

Is the rise of Western atheism permanent?

“Do you ever wonder why Western atheism is on the rise? Why does the Christian West, by far, produce the highest number of atheists? What I believe, and have dedicated my life to reversing, is that we have not moved doctrine and dogma to the level of inner experience. As long as “received teaching” doesn't become experiential knowledge...

A pathway into deeper knowing

I’m reading John Philip Newell’s delightful book ‘Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul’ at the moment. The most recent chapter I read explored the role of the imagination in Celtic spirituality. I found this quote, talking about C.S. Lewis, sagacious: “He saw that the world of the imaginal is not simply fantasy, that it can be a pathway into deep...

Happiness or contentment?

I appreciated this Hasidic proverb I stumbled across last week: “While we pursue happiness, we flee from contentment.” This suggestion that seeking happiness moves us away from contentment is profound and provocative. But there’s wisdom to be considered here. Happiness is a temporary state, dependent on circumstances. But contentment e...

Being creative in showing appreciation

It’s always tempting to wait for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, or other special occasions to let friends and family know that we love and appreciate them. Most gift-giving and note writing is saved for those predictable moments in any given year. Which is fine! I’m not suggesting we stop using these moments to show our love for ...

Regarding others as better than ourselves

I try and read a chapter of Scripture most mornings. Today’s chapter was from a segment of an ancient letter written to the church in Philippi some time in the first century AD. These two verses jumped out at me, mostly because of how counter-cultural they sound to our modern ears: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in h...

The future of the office

Seth Godin published a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece on his blog today about the future of the office. He starts out by reminding us of something that’s easy to forget: “The office is a fairly modern phenomenon. We got by for millenia without them.” After reflecting on how work has worked for the last forty years, his comments...

The past vs. the future

I had a conversation with a friend of mine from Germany a month or so ago. We ended up discussing our relationship to the past and to the future. In the midst of our back and forth, I ended up saying this: “We look to the past nostalgically but we look to the future fearfully.” It’s a generalisation, but there’s a kernel of truth here....

Book Notes – “The Boy from the Woods” and “The Innocent” by Harlan ...

I was away on holiday last week – hence the lack of blog posts. We had a family trip in a caravan that was a lot of fun. Weather wasn’t amazing, but we enjoyed lots of day trips and had an all-round a good time. And, surprisingly, I managed to read two novels while away. I say surprised because, as I’m sure any fellow parents with youn...

Let us serve love with our strength

One of the books I dip into periodically is called Sounds of the Eternal: A Celtic Psalter by John Philip Newell. It’s a collection of morning and evening prayers for each day of the week. One line, in the Tuesday morning collection of prayers, has been leaping out at me these last few weeks: “Let us serve love with our strength this d...

Just be nice!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard myself telling my daughters to ‘just be nice’ to each other. I can say that it’s a lot. I found myself thinking about that word ‘nice’ today. It’s a strangely bland and yet deeply powerful word. On the one hand, it can feel like a nothing word; a lazy descriptor for something we cannot think o...

A curious idiot

Austin Kleon shares some great thoughts on curiosity in a recent blog post of his. He starts by sharing sharing a quote from Jason Sudekis, discussing his approach to playing the character Ted Lasso: “What if you played an ignorant guy who was actually curious?” Austin then points to another quote, this one by Mike Monteiro: “The secre...

Seven types of rest

I came across an article on the TED website this week about rest. It’s easy to think of rest as something singular. And, not only that, something we merge with sleep. But we’ve all experienced those times when, despite a good night of sleep, or a decent period of what we thought was rest, we don’t feel rested at all. Why is that? It’s ...

Losing track of what we spend

Tim Harford’s recent column for the Financial Times, reproduced on his blog, addresses the challenges of living in an increasingly cashless society. What is the main challenge? How easy it is to spend money! With contactless payments, Apple Pay, Amazon’s one-click payments, it’s never been easier to spend money. Online stores have, oh-...

Generosity and kindness: The true nature of humanity

As some of you may well have picked up, we’ve been isolating as a family for the last 10 days. Today was the first day we were allowed back out following Imogen, my youngest daughter, getting Covid. The main thing that struck me throughout this time has been the kindness and generosity of friends, family, and neighbours. So many people...

How to give advice

Baltasar Gracian, a Spanish philosopher, had this to say about giving advice to others: “When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not of the light he was unable to see.” I love this! No one likes to feel stupid. Or that they don’t know something. And the truth is, more often than no...

Max vs. Lewis (AKA despair at human nature)

Though I don’t watch much Formula 1 racing nowadays, I do still follow it. And, since we’re currently having to isolate after my youngest daughter tested positive for Covid, I was able to watch the British Grand Prix yesterday. What a race! (Quick aside: before you switch off thinking this is a sports post, it isn’t a sports post – tha...

Easy has a cost

James Clear’s latest newsletter delivers a good reminder that there’s a cost to always taking the path of least resistance: “Strangely, life gets harder when you try to make it easy. Exercising might be hard, but never moving makes life harder. Uncomfortable conversations are hard, but avoiding every conflict is harder. Mastering your ...

How many close friendships are sustainable?

You’ve probably heard of “Dunbar’s number”. It is the number of stable relationships people are cognitively able to maintain at once. And, in case you’ve forgotten or didn’t know, that number is 150. But it’s not just about that number 150. In reality, that 150 consists of a series of concentric circles, each representing different kin...

Slowing down to go further

I enjoyed Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s recent article on slowness for Ness Labs. She explores the benefits of slowing down, reminding us that faster is not always (often?) better: “It may seem counterintuitive, but slowing down can be a faster way to achieve your goals. Fighting our urge to live and work faster can lead to clearer thinking, d...

The death throes of masculine power

I’m reading Sacred Earth, Sacred Soul by John Philip Newell at the moment. It came out last week and is an exploration of Celtic wisdom and what we can learn from various Celtic teachers through the ages. Two chapters in and I’m loving it. I’ll write a ‘Book Notes’ post once I’ve finished it. But this, from chapter two, entitled ’Sacre...

Inspired by a 19 year-old

So, it wasn't to be. England lost to Italy on penalties in the final of the European football championship. Ultimately, the penalty shootout came down to England’s 19 year-old player, Bukayo Saka. Score and the shootout would continue, miss and the trophy would head to Rome. And he missed. You didn’t have to imagine the devastation and...

Watch what you say

In Katy Milkman’s recent newsletter, she interviews Alison Wood Brooks about how to reappraise or reframe anxiety. This from Alison makes a lot of sense: “One way is just talking about your feelings differently. The way we label our emotions verbally to ourselves, out loud and to other people is consequential. So, when someone says, “H...

Book Notes: “The Guest List” by Lucy Foley

I finished reading The Guest List a couple of nights ago. This was a book recommended to me when I asked people via social media for some fiction suggestions a couple of months back. I can’t recall who mentioned this, but I’m so glad they did. I loved it! The setting is a remote island off the Irish coast. Guests are heading over for t...

We all need a not-to-do list

I love the not-to-do list Anne-Laure Le Cunff shared on the Ness Labs website recently. I’ve copied the first three of the ten below, but do take a look at the rest: “1. Do not constantly check your emails. Instead, batch your email-checking time in one or two slots during the day. Some people also add an auto-responder to let senders ...

Wasting years by not wasting hours

Morgan Housel shared this quote in a recent blog post of his, and I couldn’t agree more: “Psychologist Amos Tversky once said “the secret to doing good research is always to be a little underemployed. You waste years by not being able to waste hours.”” Work can easily become little more than completing one task after another. Very ofte...

Six weeks on, one week off

It’s hard to believe another six weeks have already passed. Regular readers of my blog will know what I've decided to take a week off from writing here every six weeks. I consider it a sabbath or rest week. I also break from social media, news, and my exercise regime. And I then use that time to freshen things up: read more, journal mo...

My journey with back pain

Since around October 2019 I’ve struggled with back pain. I hasn’t affected me much during the daytime, but it has caused me considerable discomfort at night. Until the start of this year, it would be a very rare occurrence for me to sleep through the night. Typically I would wake several times – often for significant amounts of time. I...

Why we need to keep writing by hand

My friend, Geoffrey, sent me a link to a delightful article about hand-writing last week. I loved this paragraph in particular: “I believe that handwriting still serves a deep purpose in our lives and that letting it fade away will be a loss to our spirit. Precisely because it is no longer essential for communication, handwriting can n...

A true view of ourselves and others

There’s lots of wisdom in Morgan Housel’s latest blog post. He explores the problems of how we perceive the people around us, and how, more often than not, what you see is not what you get. And that causes us problems. He writes: “When you are keenly aware of your own struggles but blind to others’, it’s easy toassume you’re missing so...

Book Notes: “The Girl with the Louding Voice”

If you have access to Between the Covers (on BBC Two and iPlayer here in the UK), it’s well worth a watch if you’re a fellow book-lover. I mentioned the TV show a month or so ago, and it continues to cause me to add new books to my book pile. One of those recent additions was The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Daré. After hearing A...

Mare of Easttown

I’ve been watching Mare of Easttown with my wife this week. Still have a few episodes to go, but what great TV! (UK readers, it’s available on Sky Atlantic or Now TV with an entertainment pass. If you’re in the US, it’s on HBO.) First off, Kate Winslet is her usual, brilliant self. I love the fact we get to see top notch actors in tele...

A time to multitask?

I wrote last week about multitasking. Pointed out there’s no such thing. It was unlikely a complete shock to discover that our attempts at multitasking are massive productivity killers. But is there a danger in being too quick to pick one thing to focus on? Anne-Laure Le Cunff thinks so. Her recent article for Ness Labs makes the case ...

Overcoming our need to appear perfect

I love it when a provocative quote gets inside my head and starts messing with me! That’s been the case all day today since reading this from St. Francis of Assisi: “We can patiently accept not being good. What we cannot bear is not being considered good, not appearing good.” I think that’s something that fits in the category of ‘bruta...

Beauty and brokenness go hand in hand

Avni Patel Thompson wrote a moving piece on her blog recently*, reflecting on beauty and brokenness. Her words are powerful and true: “I’ve been thinking a lot about “kintsugi” over the past couple of days. It’s the Japanese art of putting together broken shards of pottery – only instead of using a clear glue, you use a lacquer dusted ...

Fail small, not big

If you’re anything like me, you may have an unfortunate tendency to make negative occurrences a bigger deal than they really are. Something goes wrong and your response is: ‘This day is ruined!’ But does the whole day have to be written off, just because something has gone off track? Gretchen Rubin doesn’t think so. I love what she say...

The way we heal each other

If you’ve not yet seen Ethan Hawke’s TED talk, ‘Permission to be creative’, you should make the time. It’s nine minutes long and full of sage insight. It’s a healthy reminder of the roles creativity and art need to play in our lives. These comments in particular resonated with me: “Do you think human creativity matters? Well, hmm. Most...

Practicing for non-addiction

I was reading through my collection of quotes in my Notes app earlier, and I came across this from Fr. Richard Rohr: “You practice non-addiction every day by letting go, not needing, and not desiring anything in particular. Fasting, detachment, and simplicity were the original words for non-addiction in the spiritual traditions.” Readi...

No redemption

Here in England this last week there’s been a story in the sports pages about a debutant playing his first match for the England cricket team. Sadly, the story hasn’t been about his cricketing prowess. Instead it’s been all about some tweets he posted. Nine years ago. When he was a teenager. And here’s the thing: they were vile. Racist...

Enough already

Reading Morgan Housel’s latest blog post, I enjoyed this story told by Kurt Vonnegut: “True story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island. I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel to know that our host only yesterday may have made more money th...

There’s no such thing as multitasking

I always enjoy reading Oliver Burkeman’s newsletter. And his latest issue is no exception. In particular, his comments about multitasking were a good reminder: “And just to spell it out: the point here isn't "stop multitasking and focus on one thing, and you're a bad person if you don't!" Rather, it's that (with a few technical excepti...

Holidays

I am acutely aware that holidays are a thing of privilege. I’ve spent enough time with people both home and abroad to know that many people never get to go anywhere. Sure, there may be other factors sometimes, but it’s pretty much always money why they can’t. It’s a good reminder that, though I may not be rich by some people’s standard...

Nothing and everything

I’ve shared an entry from Rebecca Toh’s blog before. And I love another recent post of hers titled A beautiful life. I’ll include a few lines below, but you should go and read the whole piece: “A beautiful picture of your life isn’t the same as a beautiful life… …A beautiful life is one lived awake, or one lived trying to be awake… …A ...

Fame vs. hard work (and what we truly value)

Having written yesterday about talent not being enough and the importance of hard work, I came across the following segment in an interview with Kate Winslet in the New York Times: “Ms. Winslet has been known to warn young actors on a set not to confuse social media fame with the hard work of acting. “I have certainly heard, twice, of ...

‘It takes me forever to get it to look so easy’

When we look at others who are extremely good at something, we assume it’s all natural talent. And, thus, unfair. Why do they get all the talent? We all probably have particular people who we’re especially jealous of. Me? It’s Lin-Manuel Miranda. He seemed to get far to big a piece of the talent pie! I was reminded of this discovering ...

13 biases that prevent us seeing

I wrote about the podcast Learning How to Seea while back. If you didn’t take the time to listen back then, I’d still recommend it. The six episodes walk you through 13 biases that Brian McClaren has identified. Biases that get in the way of us seeing clearly. In a recent blog post, Richard Rohr (who joins Brian and Jacqui Lewis on the...

Yup, I loved ‘Friends, The Reunion’!

I watched Friends: The Reunion yesterday lunchtime. I put it on while eating my sandwich, expecting to watch fifteen minutes or so, and then head back upstairs to my office. A little shy of two hours later, the final credits were rolling. I loved it! Friends was the perfect time for me when it first aired. I was at university from 1996...

The me you can’t see

I watched the first couple of episodes of The Me You Can’t Seeon Apple TV+ this week. What a powerful series this is shaping up to be. Forget the headlines about Prince Harry you may have seen. There’s a depth and richness to this documentary series on mental health and well-being that goes beyond the tabloid news stories. Though I’m n...

‘Everything I do is the most important thing I do’

I enjoyed this response by the actor Mads Mikkelsen when asked about his philosophy in an interview for Vulture*: “My approach to what I do in my job — and it might even be the approach to my life — is that everything I do is the most important thing I do. Whether it’s a play or the next film. It is the most important thing. I know it’...

Book Notes: “The Power of the Dog” by Don Winslow

I while ago I put a request out on my Instagram Stories asking for fiction recommendations. My fiction pile was down to nothing, and I was struggling for inspiration. Thankfully, friends and followers came through and my fiction pile has been thoroughly reestablished. One of the recommendations was The Power of the Dog. It’s actually t...

Opening up about our struggles in a workplace environment

My cousin, Peter Radford, wrote a heartfelt post recently that touched a nerve. He addresses the reality that all our online meetings and working from home make it easier than ever to fake it when it comes to expressing how we are feeling: “Faking has got easier this year. Remote team meetings are easier to fake than in-person meetings...

TV shows I’ve been enjoying recently

It’s Friday. It’s nearly the weekend. So here’s something a little lighter for today’s post. I thought I’d share some of my favourite TV shows I’ve been watching lately. I’ll start with ‘Roadkill’. This is a BBC political drama starring Hugh Laurie. It’s four one hour episodes. And – confession time – I watched them all last night! It’...

‘It’s just who I am’

I know I’m not alone in having used, ‘It’s just who I am’ as an excuse. Rather than embracing the need to change or improve or develop, we settle. We embrace a version of ourselves that is closed to getting better. This is not to suggest we don’t genuinely have traits that are unique to us. We do. Whether innate or acquired, there are ...

Book Notes: “How to Change” by Katy Milkman

I finished How to Change a few weeks ago and it continues to resonate in my mind. I’m still processing and applying the insights and lessons I absorbed. In short, if you need to change an area of your life, this book is a wonderful starting place! It’s full of evidence-backed counsel on how to deal with everything from procrastination ...

Start with caring

I stumbled across a quote by Xandria Ooi, shared in a blog post by Rebecca Toh, that has stayed with me this last week or so. Here’s what she wrote: “In life we don’t have to strive to be hardworking. We just have to strive to care. Because it is only when we care about something that we are driven and motivated to put in the work need...

Back in the groove

It’s good to be be back after a week away from blogging, social media, news, and my usual daily workouts! Last week was the first of what I’m calling a ’sabbath’ or rest week that I’m going to take every seven weeks. Give myself a chance to reset, refresh, replenish, and get reinvigorated. Which is exactly how I feel after this last we...

Not missing Facebook

It’s coming up to a month since I announced I was leaving Facebook. It’s been far less of a big deal than I imagined. I’ve hardly thought about it at all. In fact, the only time I can recall thinking about it was my wife’s birthday. (I was interested in having a nosey at all the messages left for her by friends and family.) Other than ...

Doing the work

Have you ever had someone say ’thank-you’ after you’ve done a task and seem genuinely stunned or amazed by what you’ve done? In their eyes, you’ve done the impossible. So pulling if off appears almost miraculous. It wasn’t of course. You just took on the necessary – and often boring – job of doing the work. And when it comes to work, a...

Working towards a fairer share of household worrying

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been trying to increase my share of the household responsibilities. Reading Fair Play by Eve Rodsky opened my eyes to the ways in which I wasn’t doing my fair share. I have now achieved the status of ‘perfect husband’ and my wife doesn’t have a single complaint about me. Okay, maybe not quite... And,...

Book Notes: “Wintering” by Katherine May

I mentioned that I was reading Winteringa few weeks ago. And I did something I never normally do: recommended a book I hadn’t yet read. Thankfully, having now read the book, I am not going to need to withdraw said recommendation! May’s book is a beautiful and evocative rumination on winter. Using both literal and metaphorical reflectio...

A time to be dormant

Austin Kleon wrote a delightful response to Adam Grant’s essay on languishing that I wrote about previously. He suggests that languishing, for him at least, is the wrong word. ‘I’m not languishing, I’m dormant,’ he writes. Semantics? Maybe. The difference in meaning may be subtle, but I take his point: “It seems to me that the reason t...

Book Notes: “Faith after Doubt” by Brian McLaren

I’ve been reading books by Brian McLaren for coming up to twenty years. He is someone whose faith journey is several steps ahead of mine and, as such, he’s been a mentor from afar to me. His latest book, Faith after Doubt, is my favourite of his books to date. It captures the journey I’ve been on for the last twenty years as well as pr...

Why we read: escaping reality or exploring it?

My brother-in-law, Russell Thompson, posted some interesting reflections on why we read on his blog recently. The whole piece is worth your time, but his conclusion stands out: “So reading is about escaping reality and also facing it. It can be about dreams and reality, sadness and happiness, thinking and not thinking. It’s a landscape...

Perfectly imperfect

My wife, Rachel, turned forty today. She brings so much love, joy, and light into the world, and it only seems right to share a few words to celebrate her life. I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Rachel is that, no matter what is going on – whether personally, professionally, or globally – she never loses hope. ...

Taking control of (some) of your working day

I enjoyed Oliver Burkeman’s recent article in The Imperfectionist, his newsletter. He reflects on the one seemingly universal truth of productivity: That, no matter who we are, three to four hours is our limit when it comes to work that requires intense mental focus. But what are we to do with that information? Most of us – sadly – are...

“I want to know what you ache for”

I’m not a poetry person. I would love to be, but it hardly ever clicks for me. Every so often I’ll give another collection of poems a try, but no matter how hard I try, I still don’t get it. My friend Beth, a former English teacher, even made it her personal mission to help me love poetry. I think she’s given up! After watching – and e...

How I got myself out of a state of languishing

Yesterday’s post introduced the concept of languishing. It’s a mental state that sits somewhere between depression and flourishing. And, in the fallout from the last year, it’s a state many of us – myself included – have found ourselves in. I noticed it when, for example, I'd bump into another parent at the school gates, dropping my yo...

Languishing: the neglected middle child of mental health

I wrote last week about the need to acknowledge and recover from the trauma inflicted on us all thanks to Covid. In a similar vein, Psychologist Adam Grant has an insightful article in the New York Times on what is being called ‘languishing’. Here’s how Grant describes it: “Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels a...

Knowing deeper

“Wisdom is not knowing more, but knowing with more of you, knowing deeper.” I came across this quote from Cynthia Bourgeault in one of Fr. Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations some weeks ago. I love this idea of knowing deeper. So much knowing today feels shallow; a mere endless collecting of more information. Many of us are getting smarte...

A strange update to the Apple TV 4K box

I’m a big Apple TV fan. The little black box sits under each TV in our household. Its centralised organising of all our family TV watching is pretty much perfect. Every major provider here in the UK, apart from Netflix, now integrates with the Apple TV app. And it makes for a great overall experience. Sure it’s pricey, but I don’t thin...

Fundamentalists and fundamentalism: none of us are immune

Behavioural Science has an absorbing interview with Morton Schapiro and Saul Morson about their forthcoming book Minds Wide Shut. The authors take on the subject of fundamentalism, helping us broaden our understanding of its reach. We tend to associate fundamentalism with religion and politics. But fundamentalist thinking stretches int...

The rarity of true friendship

I’ve written previously about friendship. And one of my spiritual mentors, Fr Richard Rohr, has further stretched my understanding and appreciation of what true friendship is. In a recent Daily Meditation of his, he wrote: “Most people also have colleagues with whom they work or associates with whom they spend regular time. But this st...

When the leaves fall from us

I wrote yesterday about our need for a recovery plan from the trauma of the last year. And then, later in the day, I came across this quote via James Clear, from the book Wintering by Katherine May: “We are in the habit of imagining our lives to be linear, a long march from birth to death in which we mass our powers, only to surrender ...

Acknowledging and recovering from the trauma of the last year

How many of us would acknowledge that we’re suffering from trauma as a result of this last year? And that we need a recovery plan to address what we’ve been through? If you’re anything like me, you’ll answer with something like, ‘It’s been tough, but I’m fine. It’s not trauma though. That’s something other people who have had it far wo...

We’re all writers now

I love writing. I love learning about writing. Playing with words and finding creative ways to craft sentences and paragraphs is a joy for me. Though I’ve had my fair share of compliments about my ‘way with words’ over the years, I never stop looking for ways to improve my writing. The most significant book I’ve read that’s helped me w...

Introverts: “No return to normal, please!”

Introvert? Not looking forward to the return to ‘normal’? You are not alone! This, from an article in the Washington Post, captures the feelings of many: “And now we’re returning to the pre-pandemic world, or as close as we can get. Like everyone else, introverts are excited about seeing family and close friends in person, dining in re...

Don’t just experience gratitude, express it

Years ago I heard a preacher say, ‘Love unexpressed is a pretty useless thing’. It stayed with me. Making the point that it’s not enough to feel love towards others; we have to show people and tell them. Don’t assume they know. Or that saying it in the past is enough. We need to continuallyexpress love to the people we love. I was remi...

Leaving Facebook

It’s official: I’m leaving Facebook. I’ve toyed with the idea for several years. Dramatically reduced my usage in that time. Stopped following many of the people I’m friends with. (Sorry, not sorry!) It didn’t feel like a good use of my time. The best bits for me (and the parts I’ll miss) are interactions with international friends, or...

Book Notes: “A Bright Ray of Darkness” by Ethan Hawke

Let me be honest: I was hesitant about picking up this book. Was it going to be another actor attempting to – badly – try their hand at something else. Using their fame to sell a few copies of something bang average. And would I be able to see past Ethan Hawke and get lost in the story? Even though this isn’t Hawke’s first novel, I was...

Why your procrastinating may be getting worse

National Geographic recently published an article on the effect of the pandemic on our procrastinating. If your procrastinating has been getting worse over the last year, you are not alone. And you have something other than yourself you can now blame! Before delving into why, let’s remind ourselves what procrastination is. From the art...

How I stopped forgetting what I read

I tend to read two types of books. Either it’s a novel, or it’s a book on a subject I want to learn more about. It’s fair to say, I read a lot of both types. Typically around forty, evenly split, on any given year. But when it comes to the books I’m learning from, I’ve always had a problem: I don’t retain as much as I’d like to. I fini...

Book Notes: “Slow Horses” by Mick Herron

Until two weeks ago I’d never heard of Mick Herron. Nor his series of spy novels. It was Om Malik who drew my attention to him, writing about the newest book in the series. My curiosity was piqued and I ordered a copy of the first book. I’m glad I did. I’ve never been a big reader of spy fiction. No real reason. Just haven’t. I read – ...

While it was still dark

Reading the resurrection story in John’s gospel this morning, I found myself drawn to a few of the words in the opening sentence: “While it was still dark.” Isn’t that how it feels a lot of the time? Dark. Uncertain. Hopeless. It’s the moment we’re most tempted to cave in. The sun has set. Darkness is overwhelming. Fear surrounds us. I...

Friendship is almost always underestimated

I stumbled across a beautiful short essay on friendship earlier today. It was an evocative reminder of the power of friendship and our need for it. It’s by the poet and Christian mystic David Whyte, and I’ve included the middle segment here: “Through the eyes of a real friendship an individual is larger than their everyday actions, and...

Book Notes: “A World Without Email” by Cal Newport

As soon as I heard Cal Newport had a new book coming out tackling digital messaging, I was sold. I’ve read two of Newport’s previous books – Deep Work and Digital Minimalism – and found them both stimulating and challenging. Do I agree with everything he says or suggests? No. But I appreciate his prodding me to think hard about life an...

Alcohol and men’s behaviour

Why is alcohol a taboo subject when talking about controversial issues in society? I wrote last week about what men can and should be doing to look out for the women around us. How we men can help women feel – and be – safer. But isn’t it interesting how the worst behaviour towards women happens late at night, after people have been dr...

The future of work

For over a year now we’ve been talking about the things we’ll do, ‘when things get back to normal’. Whether at home, or at work, it’s been a recurring theme. But will that ever happen? Will, specifically, our work environments ever be the same again? Time only ever moves forwards, and I can’t envisage any scenario where our world goes ...

A vaccine dilemma

I had a bit of a dilemma yesterday. A notice went around various WhatsApp groups saying a doctor’s surgery near me was looking to use up Covid vaccine stock. They would have to throw it away if it wasn’t used by the end of the day. The surgery was hoping people in the vulnerable groups and the over fifties would snap them up. But they ...

Book Notes: “Learning to Pray” by James Martin

I shared on Instagram several weeks ago that I was reading Learning to Pray. And, in that post, I wrote about my struggles with prayer in recent years: “I spent the first three quarters of my life with an understanding of prayer that was mostly about asking God for stuff. But... that fell apart for me as a method of prayer. And I've ne...

Cultivating a workplace that brings out the best in all personality...

There was a good article in The Economist last week exploring the link between personality and success. It focussed on introverts and extroverts. And this advice for managers on the running of meetings resonated with me: “...managers need to think about the different personality types when conducting meetings. It is easy for meetings t...

What men can do now

Ever since Sarah Everard’s death, I’ve been reflecting on what I can do to help women feel safer. And, as Caitlin Moran writes in The Times (£), I’m not alone: “Violence will find women everywhere: in their home; at work; on a bus; walking home, at night... Sarah Everard’s death, though, seems to have changed something. Something has s...

Book Notes: “The Catch” by T.M. Logan

I’ve been struggling to keep my fiction reading pile stocked up lately. I’m not sure why, but whenever I do some hunting around, little is seizing my attention. Thankfully, my friend Claire came to the rescue last week. She recommended The Catch. As soon as I saw it, it looked exactly the kind of quick, easy read I was after. (I enjoy ...

An audience of one

Who am I writing for? Does it matter if anyone else reads what I write? These questions came to mind when I stumbled across the words below from the poet Amanda Gorman. They’re from a recent interview in the New York Times: “Being an artist is about how and why you touch people’s lives, even if it’s one person. Even if that’s yourself,...

Mediocrity is always in a rush

I love a good quote. And this from British novelist and teacher Amelia Barr is a fine one. In her essay,A Successful Novelist, she writes: “Everything good needs time. Don’t do work in a hurry. Go into details; it pays in every way. Time means power for your work. Mediocrity is always in a rush; but whatever is worth doing at all is wo...

Book Notes: “The Psychology of Money” by Morgan Housel

The Psychology of Money is one of those books that has been drifting on and off my radar for several months. I’ve seen various people on Twitter recommend it. And several authors I respect – Daniel Pink and James Clear – gave it a strong endorsement. I don’t get at lot of my reading ideas from Twitter, but in this case I’m glad I did! ...

The truth Christianity lost sight of

In a recent meditation, Fr. Richard Rohr quotes Bishop Michael Curry, the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, on the subject of ‘loving the “true you”’: “There is a Jewish proverb, “Before every person there marches an angel proclaiming, ‘Behold, the image of God.’” Unselfish, sacrificial living isn’t about ignoring or denying or...

The things I’m most looking forward to after Covid

Here in the UK, we’re approaching the anniversary of our first Covid-induced lockdown. And we’re currently taking tentative steps towards coming out of our third and, hopefully, last. Though the government keep telling us it is about ‘data not dates’, they have laid out a series of dates from now until June for granting greater freedom...

Book Notes: “Girl, Woman, Other” by Bernardine Evaristo

I picked up a copy of Girl, Woman, Otherlast summer. It’s sat on my reading pile ever since though. Almost every week I’ve been looking at it, remembering I want to read it, but finding something else grabbing my attention more. But, last weekend, looking for some fiction to read, I realised I only had one novel left on my unread pile....

How I finally established a journalling habit

On Monday 16th November last year I starting writing in my journal again. I’ve not missed a day since. Not even Christmas day. I’ve tried journalling many times over the years. But it never sticks. A few weeks later I lose interest, momentum, and it all grinds to a halt. So this is a record for me. And I’m trying to figure out what’s d...

Home alone again

For the first time in what feels like forever, I am working from home, alone. No one is asking for snack every half hour. My meetings are taking place uninterrupted. I can work from wherever I want in the house. And it all feels... strange! My youngest went back to her Primary school on Monday. And my eldest returned to her Secondary s...

Should you always finish a book once you’ve started it?

If you’ve been reading my writing for a while, you’ll know I tend to only write about the books I enjoy. I rarely bother to jot down anything about a book I didn’t like. I’m not in the business of formal book reviews; I mostly want to holler about the books that mean something to me and, perhaps, trigger a reader or two to go out and g...

We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are

I’ve been reflecting on the words from Fr. Richard Rohr that make up the title of this post for some months now. It’s classic Rohr: Oodles of truth and cause for reflection in just a few words. I can’t recall the first time I heard him say it, but it’s fair to say it’s stuck with me. And when it came up again in one of his daily medita...

Book Notes: “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” by Jonny Oates

My wife, Rachel, got me I Never Promised You a Rose Garden for Christmas. Truth told, I’d never heard of Jonny Oates, or this book before. And seeing the names of people endorsing it – Nick Clegg, Laura Kuenssberg, and Gary Gibbon – I assumed it was a purely political book. This would have been fine; I’m quite happy dipping into a poli...

FYI: “Transcendent Kingdom” now available in the UK

Yaa Gyasi’s second novel, Transcendent Kingdom, is now out here in the UK. Long-time readers of my writing will recall my admiration for Gyasi’s first book, Homegoing. And I was so looking forward to her second that I had it imported from the US, months ahead of its UK release. Here’s what I wrote about it in December: “Transcendent Ki...

Welcome to HEY World, the new home for all my writing

I have news of a significant change to how I send out my email newsletters. For the last couple of years I’ve been using a tool called Substack to deliver my emails to you. However, I am moving away from there and from now on I will be using a new service called HEY World. I’ll explain why (if you’re interested) below. But, if you are ...