This is not a question I’ve ever received, but I bet it is on a few minds. Did Jordan forget this is public, not his journal?
To that, I respond, why don’t you share your life online? If you’re on it so much, why don’t you try to use it productively?
And many do share their life on Facebook. But I’m not speaking about complaining about mask mandates, shitting on Aunt Jermaine for voting for Trump, or slut shaming people who are pro-choice.
I mean opening yourself up online to allow others to see your pain. Why do you keep all of that for yourself?
For men, the answer is easy: Most don’t open privately about their pain. It’s a sign of weakness, so we bury that shit until it comes out of the ground like the Walking Dead.
For others, they’ve dealt with so much pain that they are unsure where to start. Or they think no one cares, so why share. I get that.
For me, sharing my pain is a way to transform it. Not only for myself but hopefully for you. Hopefully, reading my pain pushes you to share yours–whether online or with someone close–to transform it.
“When we don’t transform our pain, we will always transmit it.” — Father Richard Rohr (The Wisdom Pattern).
Think about how much pain in the world is caused by people who haven’t found a healthy way to transmit their pain... They say, “Hurt people, hurt people.”
For me, writing about my pain, sharing it openly, and hearing your reactions, is a way to transform it. Transform it into what? Peace. Joy. Hope. Things that are separate from the outcome.
Writing about it does nothing to change what happened. But it allows me to move forward. It allows me to transform it into positive energy that I can share with others.
It festers within me without writing about it, and eventually, I transmit that pain. Whether that’s to the McDonalds worker I blow up on for messing up my order or my wife with whom I am short.
Father Richard is spot on. If we cannot transform our pain, it will leak out in destructive ways.
For me, writing is the path for transformation.
For you, it may be talking it out over a podcast or therapy.
Note: You can take this concept too far and hurt others by sharing sensitive information. You can also write too early about pain. For example, if you had a miscarriage two days ago, the wound may be too fresh to gain benefits from writing about it.
But with time, everything is better addressed than left on the shelf. Because what we keep in the dark will eventually come into the light.
And to be honest, I think sharing your pain with others is the highest form of value you can offer.
Why?
- It can help someone avoid that pain if created by poor decisions.
- It can help someone gain hope if they’re facing a similar challenge.
- It can help someone reason with their pain by seeing your reasoning process.
“The wounded one is always the one with the gift; the comfortable one knows nothing.”— Fr. Richard Rohr.
We are all wounded. The pain we’ve experienced is the gift we must give to others. And through the transformation of pain, we gain wisdom.
The comfortable one is the one who hides their pain to avoid the tension and fear it materializes. Because of this, they know nothing.
Wisdom, peace, hope, and joy–for yourself and those close to you–is available by sharing and transforming your pain into something better.
Are you willing to begin sharing your pain in your unique way?
🧠 + ❤️ // JO