What you hate in others is likely your shadow. 😶 Wat?
"If we don't confront the shadow in ourselves, we'll spend our time and energy despising or fearing the same material in others." — Richard Rohr.
This happens to me frequently. An example is when Katie and I went to the movies with my brother and nephew a few weeks ago. It was a grand time, but there was something I couldn't shake.
When we had picked my brother up, he was sour (moody). I wasn't sure if it was because we were running late for the movie or another issue related to Christmas. Anyways, he was silent and moody.
This made me angry. I was okay with him being upset, but allowing that to seep into his actions in front of his son, whom he doesn't often see, pushed my buttons. Then I realized I was staring into a mirror.
I do the same thing.
Example A: When we were visiting with my parents for Thanksgiving, I was upset about playing cards, and I was sour the entire evening with Katie and my parents. Put blank: I was an ass.
Shortly after and before heading to bed, I apologized for my child-like behavior. It was wrong of me to spoil a wonderful evening by acting like a child.
So, when I get mad at my brother for doing the same thing, I'm able to see my own shadow. Of course, I'm upset at him, but my inability to address my shadow is the bigger problem.
Good news: The way to overcome your shadow is to pull it into the light. For me, that's addressing it when I see it in others and myself and figuring out techniques to avoid falling into that shadow in the future.
"If you find yourself railing against someone else, or lost in conspiracy theories and paranoia, odds are that you're seeing your own issues in that situation."
"Once you see it clearly, the game is over."
"Shadowy material needs to stay in the dark to survive, which is why the Scriptures (Bible) are always telling you to come into the light…" — Richard Rohr.
The first step is acknowledging your shadows and bringing them into the light to see them. Until then, your shadow will forever enslave you to repeat the same behavior and get angry at others doing the same.
There is a better way. Come into the light.
🧠 + ❤️ // JO