Kaya Olsen

August 17, 2021

A Scary Decision

I'm a radical sort of person, or rather, a person with no sense of moderation. Once I've made up my mind on something, I don't compromise or go for it half-heartedly. I take the plunge and see what happens.

That's how I left everything I knew behind and moved to Vienna.
That's how I left everything I knew behind and moved from Vienna.
And that's how I'm now going to take a gap year, beginning January 2022 👀. I'm not going to go part-time, to find a new job immediately, to negotiate some kind of short-term solution with anyone. I need a break, so I'm taking it. 

It's always a scary prospect to leave what I know behind and go on an open-ended adventure. But this time might be the scariest one yet. Cause a gap year means...
... freedom to do what I want
... time to figure out what I want
... space to feel, to reflect, to relax
and that's so fucking scary to me. I haven't had this kind of freedom ever. I went to school from the age of 5 to the age of 23, juggling between several jobs and volunteer projects on the side. By 23 I began working for the company, I'm still working at now. So there's always been exterior things telling me what to do – parents, schools, employers, whatever. Yet, that's coming to an end, beginning this January. 

And that's scary as fuck. 

And needed as fuck.

To prepare myself for this plunge, I've started seeing a therapist to help me let go of the needs and wants of other people, and finally tune into myself more fully. To recenter myself. 'cause I'll break some hearts with this move, and uffffff. But it's a healthy thing to be able to do, and with each passing day, I look more and more forward to it. 

Curious to see what the last few months have to offer and what next year brings. Stay curious, peps. It's a wild, wild life.Â